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10 Funny Irish Toasts That’ll Get A Giggle

10 Funny Irish Toasts That’ll Get A Giggle

There are plenty of funny Irish toasts.

The trick is to find a toast that 1, suits the occasion and 2, suits the audience.

If you mess up on the 2 points above, your funny Irish toast will at best fall flat on its face or at worst offend.

Below, you’ll find a mix of humorous Irish toasts that can be used at weddings and/or during drinks with friends.

What to know before using any funny Irish toasts

irish cheers toasts warning

So, before diving into our funny Irish toasts guide, it’s important to get some warnings out of the way that you need to be aware of:

1. Sense check, sense check, sense check

People, generally those not familiar with Irish slang words and Irish insults, will often read a toast online, laugh to themselves and think, ‘Yep – that’ll go down a treat!’. Unfortunately, many articles online with funny Irish toasts contain offensive termsAlways sense check (you can ask us in the comments below, if you like) a toast if it contains slang terms you’re unfamiliar with.

2. Toast with the audience in mind

Knowing your audience plays a huge part in the success of a toast. Many Irish drinking toasts, for example, will be completely inappropriate for a large wedding reception. So, always toast with the audience in mind and, if in doubt, leave it out.

3. Jokes vs toasts

There’s endless Irish jokes. And, while some will make great finishers for a speech, others will leave you looking silly. A funny Irish toast is generally short and sweet and can be delivered with ease, where a joke, most of the time, is a more drawn out affair. Both have their time and place.

The best funny Irish toasts and blessings

best irish toasts

Right, now that we have the need-to-knows out of the way, it’s time to dive into some funny Irish toasts.

Below, you’ll find a mix of short and sweet and slightly longer toasts that’ll get a giggle (see our funny Irish blessings guide for wedding-suitable ones).

1. Humour and health

irish toast to good health

Our first toast is arguably best suited to a family gathering or for a night out with good friends.

It’s an easy one to memorise and contains a nice bit of light humour.

I drink to your health when I’m with you, I drink to your health when I’m alone, I drink to your health so often, I’m starting to worry about my own!”

2. One toast to rule them all

a toast to friends

If you’re after a short and sweet, inoffensive funny Irish toast for a wedding, this one is worth considering.

It’s easy to recite, light-hearted and it’s been around forever, so it’s tried and tested.

“Here’s to a long life and a merry one. A quick death and an easy one. A pretty girl and an honest one. A cold pint- and another one!”

Related read: Read our guide to 21 of the most unique and unusual Irish wedding traditions

3. A quirky toast

funny toast

Although this next toast is less laugh-out-loud and more warm-sentiment, it’s guaranteed to raise a gentle smile.

The rhyming scheme to this one also flows nicely, making it a toast that’s both pleasant to say and enjoyable to listen to.

“May the lilt of Irish laughter, Lighten every load. May the mist of Irish magic, Shorten every road… And may all your friends remember, All the favours you are owed!”

4. A friendship toast

irish toast for friends

Next up is one of the more common Irish wedding toasts.

Again, it’s not laugh-out-loud-funny, but it has a mix of mischief and humour and it’s length makes it easy to memorise.

“May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead.”

5. A slightly twisted toast

funny irish cheers

This next one can be a bit of a tongue twister, so it’s worth rehearsing it a few times before you blurt it out.

We’d recommend that you pause after the first line and then continue on as it’ll flow better that way.

“May those who love you love youAnd those who don’t love you, May god turn their heartsAnd if he doesn’t turn their hearts, May he turn their ankles so you’ll know them by their limping”.

6. A funny St Patrick’s Day toast

St. Patrick's Day toasts

There’s heaps of St Patrick’s Day toasts out there, many of which lean on the humorous side of things.

This one requires a bit of practice due to it’s wording, but it’s a great on to have in your back pocket.

St Patrick was a gentleman, Who through strategy and stealth, Drove all the snakes from Ireland, Here’s a toasting to his health. But not too many toastings, Lest you lose yourself and then, Forget the good saint Patrick, And see all those snakes again“.

Related read: Add a dash of ‘Irishness’ to your day with these Irish wedding poems

7. To loyal friends

funny irish drinking toast

Many of our funny Irish toasts and blessings are more suited to gatherings with friends (see our Irish wedding blessings guide for more formal ones!).

This one is perfect to whip out when sitting and sipping with pals.

“My dear friends, they’re the best friends, each is loyal, trust-worthy and able. But now it’s time for drinking, so lift all of your glasses off the table!”

8. Dancin’ shoes

more funny toasts

We’re fond of this one as the rhyming makes it very easy to recite (especially after a few Irish beers…).

“Let us throw on our dancin’ shoes, along with our mighty shamrocks green, and proudly toast to friends, living here and everywhere in between.”

9. Money

toast to wealth

Another not-quite-laugh-out-loud funny Irish toast, this one should still earn you a smile.

Keep in mind that many ‘funny’ toasts you see online aren’t really that funny, so you’re often better off aiming for a smile rather than a belly laugh.

“May your heart be light and happy, May your smile be big and wide, And may your pockets always have a coin or two inside!”

10. This rounds on… him

drinks on me toast

And to round it off, here’s a funny Irish drinking toast that you should only use if you’re not the type of person that skips their round!

“Let the winds of fortune sail you, And may you sail a gentle sea. And let it always be the other fella who says, ‘Lads – this drink’s on me.’

And that’s a wrap: If you’re looking for more humorous stuff, see our big guides to the best Irish jokes and funny Irish sayings.

FAQs about the funny Irish toasts

We’ve had a lot of questions over the years asking for advice on humorous Irish toasts.

In the section below, we’ve popped in the most FAQs that we’ve received. If you have a question that we haven’t tackled, ask away in the comments section below.

What is a funny and short Irish toast?

“I drink to your health when I’m with you, I drink to your health when I’m alone, I drink to your health so often, I’m starting to worry about my own!”

Are funny Irish toasts OK for weddings?

Yes, but know 1, your audience and 2, the contents of your toast. Always sense check and, if you don’t understand a bit of Irish slang, avoid it.

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