Irish toasts come in all flavors—from clever and subtle to downright wild.
The trick is to find a toast that 1, suits the occasion and 2, suits the audience.
If you mess up on the 2 points above, your funny Irish toast will at best fall flat on its face or at worst offend.
Funny Irish toasts and blessings
Photos via O’Connells Pub on FB
Whether shared in a cozy pub or at a lively gathering, funny Irish toasts are popular across the world among the Irish diaspora and those with Irish heritage.
Not to be confused with funny Irish blessings (they’re more suitable for weddings) the Irish toasts below are most suitable for drinks with friends.
1. To your health
Our first toast is arguably best suited to a family gathering or for a night out with good friends.
It’s an easy one to memorise and contains a nice bit of light humour.
“I drink to your health when I’m with you, I drink to your health when I’m alone, I drink to your health so often, I’m starting to worry about my own!”
2. To a long and happy life
If you’re after a short and sweet, inoffensive funny Irish toast for a wedding, this one is worth considering.
It’s easy to recite, light-hearted and it’s been around forever, so it’s tried and tested.
“Here’s to a long life and a merry one. A quick death and an easy one. A pretty girl and an honest one. A cold pint- and another one!”
Related read: Read our guide to 21 of the most unique and unusual Irish wedding traditions
3. To friends
Although this next toast is less laugh-out-loud and more warm-sentiment, it’s guaranteed to raise a gentle smile.
The rhyming scheme to this one also flows nicely, making it a toast that’s both pleasant to say and enjoyable to listen to.
“May the lilt of Irish laughter, Lighten every load. May the mist of Irish magic, Shorten every road… And may all your friends remember, All the favours you are owed!”
4. A friendship toast
Next up is one of the more common Irish wedding toasts.
Again, it’s not laugh-out-loud-funny, but it has a mix of mischief and humour and it’s length makes it easy to memorise.
“May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead.”
5. A slightly twisted toast
This next one can be a bit of a tongue twister, so it’s worth rehearsing it a few times before you blurt it out.
We’d recommend that you pause after the first line and then continue on as it’ll flow better that way.
“May those who love you love you, And those who don’t love you, May god turn their hearts. And if he doesn’t turn their hearts, May he turn their ankles so you’ll know them by their limping”.
6. A funny St Patrick’s Day toast
There’s heaps of St Patrick’s Day toasts out there, many of which lean on the humorous side of things.
This one requires a bit of practice due to it’s wording, but it’s a great on to have in your back pocket.
“St Patrick was a gentleman, Who through strategy and stealth, Drove all the snakes from Ireland, Here’s a toasting to his health. But not too many toastings, Lest you lose yourself and then, Forget the good saint Patrick, And see all those snakes again“.
Related read: Add a dash of ‘Irishness’ to your day with these Irish wedding poems
7. To loyal friends
Many of our funny Irish toasts and blessings are more suited to gatherings with friends (see our Irish wedding blessings guide for more formal ones!).
This one is perfect to whip out when sitting and sipping with pals.
“My dear friends, they’re the best friends, each is loyal, trust-worthy and able. But now it’s time for drinking, so lift all of your glasses off the table!”
8. Dancin’ shoes
We’re fond of this one as the rhyming makes it very easy to recite (especially after a few Irish beers…).
“Let us throw on our dancin’ shoes, along with our mighty shamrocks green, and proudly toast to friends, living here and everywhere in between.”
9. Money
Another not-quite-laugh-out-loud funny Irish toast, this one should still earn you a smile.
Keep in mind that many ‘funny’ toasts you see online aren’t really that funny, so you’re often better off aiming for a smile rather than a belly laugh.
“May your heart be light and happy, May your smile be big and wide, And may your pockets always have a coin or two inside!”
10. This rounds on… him
And to round it off, here’s a funny Irish drinking toast that you should only use if you’re not the type of person that skips their round!
“Let the winds of fortune sail you, And may you sail a gentle sea. And let it always be the other fella who says, ‘Lads – this drink’s on me.’
And that’s a wrap: If you’re looking for more humorous stuff, see our big guides to the best Irish jokes and funny Irish sayings.
Etiquette for funny Irish toasts
When it comes to funny Irish toasts, timing and tone are everything. A well-timed toast can bring laughter and lift spirits, but knowing when to keep it light and when to keep it respectful is key.
Here are a few tips on delivering your toasts with just the right touch of Irish charm!
1. Sense checks are key
People, generally those not familiar with Irish slang words and Irish insults, will often read a toast online, laugh to themselves and think, ‘Yep – that’ll go down a treat!’.
Unfortunately, many articles online with funny Irish toasts contain offensive terms. Always sense check (you can ask me in the comments below, if you like) a toast if it contains slang terms you’re unfamiliar with.
2. Toast with the audience in mind
Knowing your audience plays a huge part in the success of a toast.
Many Irish drinking toasts, for example, will be completely inappropriate for a large wedding reception. So, always toast with the audience in mind and, if in doubt, leave it out.
3. Jokes vs toasts
There’s endless Irish jokes. And, while some will make great finishers for a speech, others will leave you looking silly.
A funny Irish toast is generally short and sweet and can be delivered with ease, where a joke, most of the time, is a more drawn out affair. Both have their time and place.
Keith O’Hara has lived in Ireland for 35 years and has spent much of the last 13 creating what is now The Irish Road Trip guide. Over the years, the website has published thousands of meticulously researched Ireland travel guides, welcoming 40 million+ visitors along the way. In 2022, the Irish Road Trip team published the world’s largest collection of Irish Road Trip itineraries. Keith lives in Dublin with his dog Toby and finds writing in the 3rd person minus craic altogether.