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11 Funny Irish Blessings (They’ll Love)

11 Funny Irish Blessings (They’ll Love)

Let’s call a spade a spade – when it comes to Irish blessings funny examples are few and far between.

You’ll find endless guides online that claim to be packed with funny Irish blessings that are really just corny sayings that, if you recite them, will result in an awkward silence.

So, I’m going to make you a promise from the get-go – you won’t find any hilarious Irish blessings in this guide as they don’t exist.

What you will find is a mix of light hearted and slightly funny Irish blessings that will go down a treat with the right crowd.

Looking for funny sayings, like ‘There’s more meat on a butchers pencil’? You’ll find them in our funny Irish sayings guide!

What to know before using any funny Irish blessings

funny Irish sayings

So, before scrolling to the funny Irish sayings, it’s important to get some warnings out of the way that you need to be aware of:

1. 99% of what you see online isn’t Irish

The vast majority of articles titled something along the lines of ‘7,000 Funny Irish Blessings For Every Occasion’ are in no way Irish. You might get away with using them if you read them out in front of a crowd with very few Irish people, but 90% of Irish people will spot them for what they really are.

2. Sense check in advance

Some funny Irish sayings contain Irish slang words and Irish insults. These are generally not too offensive, but it’s worth sense checking any words you don’t fully understand to avoid any awkward moments.

3. Jokes vs blessings

Irish jokes and Irish blessings are two very different things, yet we constantly hear of people confusing the former for the latter. It’s generally accepted that jokes are not appropriate substitutes for blessings.

Funny Irish blessings

best irish toasts

Right, now that we have the need-to-knows out of the way, it’s time to dive into some funny Irish sayings, many of which can be found in our Irish toasts guide.

Below, you’ll find a mix of short and sweet and slightly longer funny Irish blessings to choose from. Dive on in!

1. To your health

irish toast to good health

Our first funny Irish blessing is arguably most appropriate for a family gathering or an evening with close friends.

“I drink to your health when I’m with you.

I drink to your health when I’m alone.

I drink to your health so often, I’m starting to worry about my own!”

2. A merry one

a toast to friends

If you’re in search of a short, lighthearted and slightly funny Irish blessings for weddings, this one is worth contemplating.

“Here’s to a long life and a merry one.

A quick death and an easy one.

A pretty girl and an honest one.

A cold pint and another one!”

3. A quirky one

a quirky reading

With mentions of the enchanting mist of Irish magic and the laughter of Ireland, this is one of several funny Irish blessings that has gained popularity among those seeking to add some “Irishness” to a speech/toast.

It possesses a playful charm, with a quirky conclusion that makes it an solid choice for those in search of slightly funny Irish sayings:

“May the lilt of Irish laughter lighten every load, 

may the mist of Irish magic shorten every road, 

may you taste the sweetest pleasures that fortune ere bestowed

and may all your friends remember all the favours you are owed.”

4. For friends

funny irish drinking toast

Due to their nature, many of these funny Irish blessings are more suited to gatherings with friends (see our Irish wedding blessings guide for more formal ones!).

This one is perfect to use when sitting around and sipping with pals.

“My dear friends, they’re the best friends,

each is loyal, trust-worthy and able.

But now it’s time for drinking,

so lift all of your glasses off the table!”

5. Wealth

toast to wealth

Next is another of the not-quite-laugh-out-loud funny Irish blessings, but it should earn you a smile.

It’s also nice and short which makes it easy to read out without any real prep.

“May your heart be light and happy,

May your smile be big and wide,

And may your pockets always have a coin or two inside!”

Related read: Add a dash of ‘Irishness’ to your day with these Irish wedding poems

6. A full glass

irish toast for friends

Next up is one of the more common Irish wedding toasts and it has a good mix of mischief and humour.

“May your glass be ever full.

May the roof over your head be always strong.

And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead.”

7. To those who love you

funny irish cheers

Several of the funny Irish blessings can make the tongue twist the first couple of times you read them out.

So, it’s worth practising this one a couple of times just to be safe!

“May those who love you love you

And those who don’t love youMay god turn their hearts. 

And if he doesn’t turn their hearts, May he turn their ankles so you’ll know them by their limping”.

8. For St Patrick’s Day

St. Patrick's Day toasts

If you’re after some funny Irish blessings to use on St. Patrick’s Day, then this one is worth considering.

“St Patrick was a gentleman, Who through strategy and stealth,

Drove all the snakes from Ireland, Here’s a toasting to his health.

But not too many toastings, Lest you lose yourself and then,

Forget the good saint Patrick, And see all those snakes again“.

9. A very Irish one

more funny toasts

We’re fond of this one as the rhyming makes it grand and handy to recite (especially if you’ve been sipping a few Irish beers…).

“Let us throw on our dancin’ shoes,

along with our mighty shamrocks green,

and proudly toast to friends,

living here and everywhere in between.”

Related read: Read our guide to 21 of the most unique and unusual Irish wedding traditions

10. The drinks on me

drinks on me toast

Irish drinking toasts are fairly popular ‘across the sea’. This is one that tends to fall into the ‘funny Irish sayings’ category.

It’s short, sweet and straight to the point:

“Let the winds of fortune sail you,

And may you sail a gentle sea.

And let it always be the other fella who says, ‘Lads – this drink’s on me.’

11. An iconic Irish blessing

may the road rise up to meet you

I’m going to round off our Irish blessings funny examples with a very unfunny Irish saying.

The reason for this is that most people will have realised at this point that maybe a non-funny Irish blessing is more suitable.

May the road rise up to meet youMay the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face,  the rains fall soft upon your fields, and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.”

FAQs about Irish blessings funny examples

We’ve had a lot of questions over the years asking about everything from ‘Which are good for birthdays?’ to ‘What are some funny Irish sayings for weddings?’.

In the section below, we’ve popped in the most FAQs that we’ve received. If you have a question that we haven’t tackled, ask away in the comments section below.

Are funny Irish blessings suitable for weddings?

Yes and no. It’ll depend on 1, which of the many funny Irish sayings you’re using and 2, the audience that you’ll be reciting it to.

What is the best Irish blessing?

You could argue that ‘May the road rise up to meet you’ is the best Irish blessing. It is in no way funny, but it’s steeped in meaning and imagery.

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